Rules for Driving in Lubbock

As the summer driving season gets underway Lubbock will have some folks come to town who aren't up to date on our unique rules of driving. Here is a small guide to some of our rules. In Lubbock we have a special way of merging on and off freeways. When trying to get on the loop or Interstate, remember cars on already do not move over. At all. Ever. You must speed up and risk a ticket from the radar unit hid out, or slow down to a stop until traffic clears. The second option may take a good 20 minutes of your precious time here in Lubbock. If you are the one already on a freeway be sure to drive in the slow lane no matter what. We aren't sure what the other two lanes are for, but they must be some sort of evil entity. Don't let other drivers on the freeway either. In Lubbock we say do to others as they do to you. Another rule here in Lubbock is to always stop on top of the crosswalk if you are the first car at a red light. If you are second or further back, be sure to leave at least 3 car lengths in between you and other cars. That way we never have more than 4 cars make it through a light. Without this extra time you can't read all the stickers on the SUVs letting you know what sports the drivers children play. One more rule to learn is no matter where or when you see a police car, slow down at least 15 miles an hour. This will save you from running over others on the road because they will slow down at least 10 miles an hour. Even if the cop car is parked and empty. Even if the cop car is a security guard with flashing lights on top. Even if the cop car turns out to be a old lady car that resembles a cop car. They will still slow down. In most cities drivers use a left turn lane. It is used for left turns. In Lubbock we have replaced that old relic with the multi-use lane. It is still in the middle of the road, but doesn't have to be used in the same old boring ways. It can be used to merge right into traffic. It can be used to stop in while you text message on your phone. And in a bind it can be used to go around slower cars. It also can still be used to turn left. When traveling on major streets, always stop and let cars out of parking lots. Don't mind the brakes screaming or the horns honking as they most likely are in celebration for the freed driver. The red lights are set to never get a brake in traffic, so parking lot "hostages" can only escape when helped by others on the road. The busier the road, the more you are helping by stopping traffic. A side note here. When turning into a parking lot, don't turn in if there is another car in the drive. You can block traffic for them and also drivers here don't like to share a drive with others. We feel it is impolite to be in such close quarters unless you are properly introduced. Here in Lubbock we have an ordinance that states at least 40% of streets must be under construction at all times. Another 20% must have orange barrels and cones even though there isn't any construction being done. And 20% of roads must have water running down the gutter from faulty sprinklers. Keep these hazards in mind when rolling around the Hub City. If one doesn't get you, another one will. This is just a small list of the many odd and unique rules in Lubbock. While driving here you will see a lot of different styles and traditions. You can even start some of your own. You will have folks following your lead before you even realize it. For my legion of readers out there, be sure to leave any helpful tips in the comment section. Out -of- towners and new-comers will thank you.